I happen to have been aware of, and around, and fascinated by, and later in love with, emotionally-real Inner Children (Innergirls), pretty much all my life. The concept of it has been something that has moved me since my Mom started telling me a little bit about the therapy workshops she was going to, which experimented with the (controversial) "Reparenting" therapy. Being regressed by the doc to the age at which severe traumas occurred, and re-living them with an intentionally-different outcome, as part of healing emotional scars that linger for life, in so many victims of childhood abuse.

So no, I don't think that I have all the answers, or that I'm superior to anyone else, in *any* way. I'm far too unviable and pathetic and riddled with flaws. I've made horrible mistakes living these lives, accidentally hurt people, and myself, and made (perhaps), every mistake in the proverbial book.

But, yeah, it seems that (for whatever reason), the words to describe some of the hard-to-describe feelings and needs in these Backside of Love lifestyles, seem to come to mind when I'm babbling, and sometimes, I guess, hearing that someone out there really does understand, seems sometimes to soothe the furrowed brow of an Innerkid.

Now, I'm aware of the fact that I tend to babble on too long at times -- but that is about the passion for the fulfillment-potential that I find possible with healthy, thought-provoking, loving D/s relationships of any kind.

I'm embarrassed sometimes by how omnipresent my babble seems in the Virtual Communities I've shepherded -- but that comes from really thinking that all of this is terribly important, much more than just recreation or play, and having seen these concepts touch peoples' lives *profoundly*. I guess it makes me err on the side of wanting to communicate clearly and fully -- hence prodigious blather from me. How're your skimming skills? :)

I'm irked by the knowledge that fairly regularly, some ungruntled person who didn't find what they wanted here, disagreed violently with me about all of this, or simply got into the long line of people that just find me irritating on general principle, and decides to spend their time and energy denigrating me and these humble projects, rather than simply leaving, and finding a community that fits their needs better.

That's the sort of person whom tries now and then to contact a lot of GI people and whisper to them privately that I am, indeed, Just A Pompous Windbag (windbag, yeah, but I loathe myself too much to be pompous) -- but most awefully, whisper bizarre and utterly ridiculous accusations that GI isn't a safe place, that I'm just here to take advantage of Innergirls.

That does make me mad, because I've put a lot of myself into these things, and these places, over the years. I think it means more to a lot of you than almost anything else in the world. And it's just... such a stabbing thing, to hear those kinds of words and depictions being applied to me. I'm too broken and worn out to be dangerous, even if my heart leaned in that direction.

Luckily for me, those whispered atrocities have never done a lick of good, as far as I know, because each time, the approached Innergirl has come to me privately and turned the guy in, not believing that kind of stuff.

GI wouldn't have been around for this long, with as many glorious alums as we've had, if I was a predator, or had selfish designs. "Little kids" would let other "little kids" know about me, as they should have, if someone like that was amongst us!

Anyway: Windbag, yes, babbler, yes. Knows everything? Thinks he's important? Treats Innergirls like a stable of mine? No, nothing could be much farther from the Truth.

I'm a defective human being in almost all ways -- but in *this* area, I'm as earnest as is possible to prosthelitize the profound fulfillment possible, and pained horribly by any Innerkid's pain.


--Bobby, deflated for now :o